I am sure this topic or its like has been written about, and for a moment I thought I must check and avoid redundancy, if it be. Yet, if one starts going by that logic, writing would become really tough or rather impossible because people these days write about everything. So I passed.
I will begin by giving credit where it is due. The genesis of this 'theory' lies in a light hearted conversation which transpired as we sat staring at the idiot box, and nibbling at what was left of the 'chicken lollipop', in our living room. The exponent happens to be our newly joined flat-mate, who we shall call Newton, because, as you will come to understand, what he said might be far more critical than the knowledge of F = m.a.
Our friend Newton seemed to be having a quiet, happy meal till he abruptly stopped in the middle of a noodle, and uttered these fateful words...
"Ranbir Kapoor should not be allowed to marry Katrina Kaif."
(which, thanks to lack of creativity is also the title of this post)
Though, for a flurry of different reasons, we agreed with his premise, being products of a generation spurred to be curious by the likes of Arnab Goswami Albert Einstein, we asked, "Why so?".
This is the point where I shift from the narrative to the descriptive, and would demand complete attention of the reader to a theory, the non-acceptance of which could have drastically hurtful socio-cultural consequences.
Assumptions:
1. If one has read H.G.Wells' Time Machine and those of its ilk, mankind or author-kind has always feared a dystopian society wherein the class-divide has reached gigantic proportions. That, invariably, leads to bitter resentment and an ultimate clash and an end of the world as the society of that time knows it. We shall assume we DO NOT want to push our world to such a state.
2. We will assume Ranbir Kapoor and Katrina Kaif to be "good-looking" to the way above average extent. And limit our perception of the individual to that of physical beauty.
Clause:
It is often seen that people of equal beauty or the lack of it (strictly by the rules of the world) end up engaging with each other, and eventually marry, have kids and all that jazz. Now, we remain concerned with this system.
Without wasting my time with more words, I will explain this with the help of pictorial representations.
See what this is leading to? Weirdly lumped pockets of extremely high and low entropy. Things will, eventually, shriek and call out for equilibrium, or annihilation. It will be a brutal war - and mind you, the mascara pencil is not mightier than the sword.
There is still time. The rules must be laid.
Suggested solution
I am certain there are standard beauty metrics which have been designed by jobless driven purveyors of science. So, use them. Form a world governing council and hand them the task of being judges. When children reach the age of, say, fourteen, they must be presented to the council and rated on a scale of 0-10 (also called the Rakhi-Jolie scale). Fourteen, well, because if one can look beautiful at the onset of puberty, they must be asked no questions.
Then order by decree that no nuptial knots shall violate a sum of 15. Problem solved. In a few years, everyone will have one less thing to worry about.
No Troy shall burn for Helen!
No comments:
Post a Comment